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S-O-S Best of the Best, Edition 5: Book Reviews

April 15th, 2011 by Danette Schott, M.A.

This post was previously titled “S-O-S Best of the Best, Edition 5: $1,100 Giveaway Bonanza!” The giveaway has ended, but there are still many wonderful book (and product) reviews below. Please take a look! ~Danette

Welcome to S-O-S Best of the Best (BoB), Edition 5. This edition is in honor of Autism Awareness Month and in honor of ALL invisible special needs, such as ADHD, SPD, and mental illness. Bloggers have united to review over 50 books, DVDs, and even a b-Calm. Most of these reviews also include giveaways! A total of $1,100 products are being given away to readers!

Visit each review and read about books and products that may be what you have been needing. If you don’t win the item, come back and purchase it and show your support to these many wonderful authors and publishers who have donated their items for this cause! Thank you to everyone who has helped make this happen!

Categories ADHD/ADD, Anxiety and Stress, Autism/Aspergers, Best of Best, Books, Other Disorders, Sensory Processing Disorder, Social, Special Education
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The Aspie Teen’s Survival Guide

January 14th, 2011 by Danette Schott, M.A.

A survival kit is typically full of many items to help a person withstand adverse or unusual conditions. Many teenagers with Asperger’s are continually trying to figure out how to exist in a predominantly neurotypical world. So I was intrigued by the book titled The Aspie Teen’s Survival Guide: Candid Advice for Teens, Tweens, and Parents, from a Young Man with Asperger’s Syndrome and was interested in finding out what the author, J.D. Kraus, would put in this survival kit.

Categories Autism/Aspergers, Books, School, Social
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A Regular Guy: Growing Up with Autism

October 25th, 2010 by Danette Schott, M.A.

I have been reading quite a few books on Asperger’s and Sensory Processing Disorder, everything from how-to-guides to children’s books. So I was ready to move onto something different and that something different turned out to be something pretty inspiring. Laura Shumaker’s book, A Regular Guy: Growing up with Autism, is her account of raising her first-born son, Matthew, who was officially diagnosed at age five with autism. What follows is my review of the book, plus an interview with Laura.

What I really liked about this book is that Laura does not sugarcoat her life with autism. You will not read about how she “recovered” her son, changed his diet and “cured” him, or how through Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) he is now “undistinguishable” from his peers. Laura reveals what it is really like living with a child who has autism and is lower functioning. You will feel her pain, frustration, and sometimes embarrassment with all his ever-changing obsessions from poisonous plants to diapers to writing signs, and more. I asked Laura in what ways she believes she is different than she would be if she had not parented Matthew. She replied:

I’ve really never thought about it, but I think that mothering Matthew has made me more introverted! There have been so many times when I have felt judged by others that I just keep my head high and do my best not to let it get to me. It has made me more tolerant of differences in others and EVERY day I think about how EVERYONE carries their own heavy load, that I should not judge or have hurt feelings. I also have a better sense of humor.“

Right out of the gate, Laura caught my attention with her first chapter titled “Nervous Laughter.” It’s a brief chapter, but a lot of words aren’t needed. It’s Laura’s memories of her experiences with the special needs world while she was growing up, before she was thrown head first into it as a mother. Her account of her early memories with people with special needs is honest and moving and something the vast majority of us can relate to…whether we want to admit it or not. I asked Laura why she decided to write this book and reveal her raw and honest emotions and she replied:

I decided to write this book after Matthew left for his residential school- A “friend” told me I must be so relieved. (!) I decided to write ONE story about what it was like to be the mother of a child like Matthew. I joined a writing group, two writing classes and then just kept writing. I wanted to be honest because I was tired of all of the books that talked about how parents “cured” their child. I wanted readers to know the truth (good and bad).“

I knew that if Laura could start her book out being this open, there was promise that this could be a real and honest journey. I was not disappointed. When her son was only one year of age, Laura started seeing differences with him. But she tried to explain away these differences the various ways we all do–it’s just first-time mom jitters; others are jealous; I’m not the playgroup type.

When her son was three, Laura is told he has language delays and she frenetically searched for a support system. But as any parent knows during this state, you can never work fast enough nor feel you are doing enough. Some titles of her early chapters are “Fear,” Frantic,” and “Desperate.” Any mother of a child with special needs can recall these feelings and emotions. We can feel Laura’s pain as she tries to grasp at the last bit of hope that Matthew will fit in with his peers, as the ugly truth hits her point blank that this is a fading dream.

As time progressed, I could feel Laura’s frustration as no clear diagnosis was offered. Plenty of therapy was recommended though, coupled with the obvious financial strain that this brings. Laura tried many different interventions for her son and documents her experience with auditory training, the “miracle cure.”

Living with autism is difficult enough for parents, but Laura also revealed how it affected her other children. Matthew has two younger brothers, John and Andy, and as they age you experience their difficulties and sometimes shame of having a sibling with a disability. You can tell that the two brothers love their sibling, but they are also faced with the cruelty of other children as they make fun of him for being different.

A Regular Guy not only lets us see into a household maneuvering life with a child on the spectrum, but we are able to experience this from birth into adulthood. Many books address the early years, but Laura brings us full into autism as an adult. She reveals the anguish of having to send her high school son to a residential school setting and the less than understanding comments from other mothers who have never lived this life but have more than enough advice to give. Laura revealed though that the decision was beneficial for all her sons. With regards to Andy and John:

When Matthew left for Camphill, Andy (Matthew’s younger brother) blossomed in a BIG way. He started having friends over again, he took a leadership role at his high school, he was sooo happy. It was so incredibly touching. He ended up at Yale (has just graduated with honors all over the place) and is doing so well. John blossomed, too, but not as dramatically-he’s 6 1/2 years younger than Matthew so didn’t suffer as much as Andy by the teasing and loneliness.”

There were also surprise benefits for Matthew. Laura was happy to report:

For the FIRST time in Matthew’s life, he was regarded as someone who could offer a lot to his new community, not just as a child that needed to be cared for. He ended up being a nurturing soul to those who were more disabled than him.“

One part of Laura’s story that had a good lesson for me surrounded Matthew’s 16th birthday. Laura wanted to send balloons, an obsession of Matthew’s, to his residential home as a gift. She was asked not to do this because Matthew was too big for balloons. Laura stated:

It is a pattern that parents of disabled teens fall into…What better way to comfort a kid who lives with daily disappointment and loneliness than buying him a red balloon, an ice cream cone,…“

But she was told:

…a better way was to let them give of themselves. They have spent their lives being cared for. The power of being able to give in return is as rewarding as it is restorative.” (p. 197-198)

Matthew is now a young adult and Laura reports the following:

Matthew is doing well –still struggles socially and emotionally. He always will, but we are working hard to help him! He lives in the Camphill Community in Santa Cruz, CA. and is very active in a vocational program that incorporates social skills training-he has a busy social life and is searching for a HOT girlfriend!! He is very interested in gardening, landscaping and music.“

By the time you get to the end of this story, you will know not to feel pity for Laura, nor to think of her as a hero. She is a mother who was dealt the special needs card and had to figure out how to deal with it. She is not ashamed to acknowledge that she needed to ask for help and saw a therapist for her own benefit. She had to make hard decisions for the good of her son, Matthew, and for the rest of the family. But in the end, just as Laura would like us to view Matthew as A Regular Guy, I get the feeling she would like us to view her as a regular mom.

About Laura Shumaker

Laura Shumaker writes a nationally recognized autism blog for the San Francisco Chronicle and has her own website. Her essays have appeared in the the New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Contra Costa Times, The Autism Advocate, on cnn.com, and in myriad anthologies including Voices of Autism, Cup of Comfort and Gravity Pulls You In. Laura speaks regularly to schools, and book and disability groups and lives in Lafayette, California with her husband, Peter, and her three sons. Regarding her career, I am happy to say that we will be hearing more from Laura. She reports the following:

My career goal is to continue to write and advocate-I have a few books in the works (one is a parents helping parents book and the other is about helping facilitate relationship/friendships for individuals on the autism spectrum). I want to continue to speak to groups, as well. I love it and find it fascinating that people laugh throughout my presentations even when I don’t think I’m being funny! I would also like to write essays/books about topics other than autism.“

To hear more from Laura, follow her on her Facebook Forum and on Twitter at RGmom. I want to thank Laura for allowing me not only the pleasure of reviewing of her book, but also for being willing to answer some personal questions and providing additional insight into her life!

Keely won this book!

Categories Autism/Aspergers, Books
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Developing Dramatic Play Skills

October 4th, 2010 by Danette Schott, M.A.

You have undoubtedly noticed that most preschool and kindergarten classrooms have a dramatic play area well

stocked with dress-up clothes and real-life pretend items such as plastic foods, pots and pans, telephone, ironing board, dolls, and more. Children are able to take things they have observed in their day-to-day life and apply them to these make-believe environments. These play items allow for pretend play and the practicing of a variety of skills. Many experts believe that this pretend play helps children to develop and work on new skills.

Children with special needs, such as ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, or Asperger’s will want to participate in dramatic play, but may lack some of the necessary skills. It is important for children to participate in dramatic play, because during this time children work on a number of other skills. Here’s an example of some of the skills a child may be working on during their dress-up time:

Social and Emotional Skills: During dramatic play children try on different roles, i.e., they pretend they are someone else. They learn to cooperate and negotiate with each other as they select their roles and the play scenario. They learn to take turns with props and roles. The role-playing also provides them with the opportunity to see the world through another person’s eyes and begin to understand the feelings of others. This helps build empathy for others.

Language Skills: Children must use their words to negotiate the play time with the other children. Also, when children pretend to be someone else, they will often take on the words and language of the person they are imitating. It is not unusual to hear your daughter repeating your words as she is pretending to be mommy.

Physical Skills: While role-playing, children must use their fine motor skills when buttoning a jacket or dressing a baby. Hand-eye coordination is also practiced as they interact with the various props in the pretend area.

Cognitive Thinking Skills: Pretend play involves a lot of abstract thinking. Children will take an object and pretend it is something else. For example, if children are creating a restaurant, they may use small objects to represent money. Children must also not only plan what they want to do, but they need to use their organizational skills to gather materials and to work with other children that may be involved in their role playing activities.

Ideas for Dramatic Play

If you are interested in creating a dramatic play area at home or at school, Cathy Abraham at Alphabet Soup provides an extensive list of pretend play themes with corresponding props.

The Perpetual Preschool allows people to submit their theme ideas which has resulted in a large list of possible play activities.

Kelly’s Kindergarten also offers a number of play themes, along with specific items that she has created that can be downloaded and printed.

Literacy Play: Over 300 Dramatic Play Activities that Teach Pre-Reading Skills is a book by Sherrie West providing many pretend play activities that can help teach pre-reading skills.

All children can benefit from dramatic play because it allows them to practice valuable skills. It is important for parents and teachers to work with children with special needs so that they can participate as fully as the rest of their peers. Tara Delaney’s book, 101 Games and Activities for Children with Autism, Aspergers and Sensory Processing Disorders, could be a good place to start. It contains over a 100 games to help teach eye contact, turn-taking, increase focus, and many other skills necessary for preschool and kindergarten. Play can have many positive results on children and it is important for all children to be able to participate.

Categories School, Social
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Play Skills in Children Older than One Year of Age

September 3rd, 2010 by Danette Schott, M.A.

Earlier in the week I looked at play skills in children less than a year old. Play is critical for a child as it helps the development of many skills, such as fine and gross motor skills, cognitive and language skills, and social and emotional skills. Play helps a child to learn and generalize these new skills and concepts.

Today I want to look at play skills in children older than one year old. I know these lists are everywhere, but they are so important for parents to understand. Many parents never look for these lists, because they don’t see a need. Often parents are not even aware that something is wrong or if they do suspect something, they don’t understand the seriousness.

Of those parents who do look at these developmental lists, I think the individual items are often misunderstood. I believe it is all to common for a parent to think their child is doing something that they are not actually doing, because the parent didn’t understand what was meant. This last statement definitely describes me 11 years ago. I needed a professional to point things out and explain them so that I could really grasp the delays in my child.

These play skills are for children from 13 months of age to beyond 5 years of age. This list is certainly not comprehensive and many skills will vary from child to child. But the list may help you decide if your child is on track. If she isn’t doing many of these things, talk with your pediatrician.

13 to 24 months of age

Enjoys listening to rhymes and jingles
Usually plays alone or next to another child
Watches other children play
Plays with balls, stackable cups, dolls, and board books
Uses from 3 to 20 single words meaningfully
Fills containers with water, sand, or toys and then dumps them out
Imitates animal sounds and other sounds in play
Asks questions by raising pitch of voice at the end of a word or phrase

I’ve included a few language and motor skills, just because it is hard to think about play without these. Also, language can be a good indicator of development. You can’t give a 2-year-old an IQ test, so one thing professionals will look at is language development. Notice that by the time a child reaches the age of 2, she should have up to 20 words that she uses in a meaningful way.

Using words in a “meaningful” way is where some parents get confused. Here’s an example on one parent misinterpreting their child’s behaviors. I know a mother of three who when her fourth was born, the family thought he was a genius. He appeared to have an incredible vocabulary and was constantly talking. This boy was eventually diagnosed with autism. Looking back, this mother realized that her son never really had any meaningful speech. In reality, her son had echolalia.Echolalia is “the involuntary parrotlike repetition (echoing) of a word or phrase just spoken by another person.” (MedTerms Online Medical Dictionary, Medicine.net) It is common in those on the autism spectrum and can be a feature of schizophrenia.

We’ve all been around people who speak in monotone. There is no pitch in their voice. Their emotion or affect appears to be flat. Remember, this did not happen over night. As early as 2 years of age children start to use pitch to indicate they are asking a question.

2 to 3 years of age

Likes to listen to short stories
Uses I, me, mine, you
Talks about something that has just happened
Speech is understood by others 70% to 80% of the time
Might cooperate with other children in a shared play activity for a brief amount of time
Might play chase with other children for a brief amount of time
Uses their imagination in play, e.g., might pretend to feed a doll
Sharing and turn-taking is still difficult

As children approach 3 years-of-age their speech is readily understood by the majority of people. At this age children will talk about an event that just happened and you will see the beginning of imagination in their play.

3 to 4 years of age

Asks many who, what, where, why questions
Uses language in imaginative play
Imitates whispering
Catches a large ball
Rides a tricycle
Alternates her feet when climbing stairs
Stacks blocks up to 9 in height
Copies simple shapes, e.g., cross or circle
Assembles simple puzzles

As children approach 4 years of age their play is expanding. Both their fine and gross motor skills are continuing to develop, allowing them to now climb stairs by alternating their feet and stacking up to nine blocks without knocking it over.

4 to 5 years of age

Follows a series of three unrelated commands
Cuts on a line
Catches, throws, and bounces a ball
Enjoys re-telling stories
Understands (for the most part) the difference between fantasy and reality
Takes turns sharing and cooperates with other children
Enjoys playing pretend and has a vivid imagination

By this age most children can follow three unrelated commands. They like to share stories and will readily tell you what they did at preschool or while visiting grandma. Their imaginative play is becoming more complex, but they understand the difference between fantasy and reality.

5+ years of age

Has a vocabulary of about 2,000 words
Can skate and jump rope
Colors within the line
Plays make-believe and dress-up
Prefers to play with friend rather than playing alone
Plays with both boys and girls, but prefers same sex
Stays with one activity for 12 -13 minutes

From the age of 5 and older the skills continue to develop in complexity. Children are acquiring vocabulary at a rapid rate and friends have become very important.

This list is not comprehensive, but it provides a good picture of what children are doing at each age. If you’re not seeing this kind of development, you should first talk with your child’s pediatrician. Don’t take the “wait and see” approach. It doesn’t hurt to ask questions and if it is agreed that your child may be delayed, early intervention is the key.

Categories Autism/Aspergers, Other Disorders, Social
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Play Skills in a Child Less than a Year Old

August 30th, 2010 by Danette Schott, M.A.

Parents always hear how important play is to children–it’s their work. Young babies, toddlers, and children love to

play and they often like to play the same thing over and over again. Parents are their babies first playmates and through play children learn new skills and how to connect socially.

When a child is under 12 months of age, it is often easy to forget how much they are capable of doing. How much does a 6-month-old do anyway? The truth is that babies under 12 months of age are capable of quit a bit. It is important for parents to be familiar with what a baby should be doing so that they will have an idea if their child is on track.

An 8-month-old baby is not going to be diagnosed with autism, Asperger’s, or Sensory Processing Disorder. But often at this age for a child that later will be diagnosed with one of these special needs, development is already delayed. It is common though not to notice the subtle things a child isn’t doing. A parent might realize that his child is doing less than others, but it is still such a fine line that it is hard to detect that something is amiss. Not until someone points it out, does a parent realize how much her child isn’t doing.

As a child ages though, many parents look back and say that there were early signs. Waiting in line at the grocery store behind a baby in a cart, still surprises me. I am amazed at how young they are and yet these tiny babies smile at me, try to engage me, and laugh at my attempts at peek-a-boo. Their eyes usually dart back and forth from me to mom. They need mom’s reassurance that everything is OK, but they desire to continue to play with this stranger who has introduced a fun game.

In this post I want to look at play skills in children less than a year old. This list is certainly not comprehensive and many skills will vary from child to child. But the list may help you decide if your child is on track. If she isn’t doing many of these things, talk with your pediatrician.

Birth to 3 months of age

Smiles in response to a familiar voice
Looks directly at the speaker’s face and will prefer a human face over an object
Maintains brief eye contact during feeding
Begins to play with her hands and put them in her mouth

3 to 6 months of age

Responds to her name
Laughs during play
Puts toys in her mouth
Smiles in response to her mirror image
Smiles and waves arms to continue a social exchange

6 to 9 months of age

Looks for family members when asked, “Where’s Mommy? Daddy?”
Responds to her name more consistently by stopping activity
Responds with gestures to such words as “up”
Imitates familiar gestures, such as shaking a toy

9 to 12 months of age

Understands simple requests such as “give me”
Plays exchange games with adults, such as handing an object back and forth
Use some objects correctly, such as putting a toy phone to her ear
Initiates games of pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo

Remember, when you bring your child in for her pediatrician appointment, the doctor sees only a glimpse of your child. It is your responsibility to accurately report your observations and concerns. You may want to take notes, write down your observations, and list your questions. This will help you to cover everything as thoroughly as possible at your child’s next doctor visit.

Categories Autism/Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorder, Social
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The Birth of S-O-S for Families with Kids with Special Needs

June 30th, 2010 by Danette Schott, M.A.

The S-O-S Rescue Series is my way of helping other parents who find themselves in need of information for their child with special needs. I do not consider myself an expert in ADHD, autism, anxiety, social skills, play skills, or any of these special needs issues. What I do consider myself is an expert in gathering and organizing information in a way that is useful to others.

Experience in my “previous” life involved social science research and marketing research. I had a successful small business where I worked with high technology companies here in Silicon Valley. I created and maintained large sales and marketing information systems and also conducted analyses on the data.

As it happens with many mothers of special needs kids, I had to eventually close shop. My family demands were too great and someone needed to have a freer schedule to handle the needs of our daughter. That someone was me. I know there are many moms out there who can relate.

Years of Gathering Information

Over many years I have addressed problem after problem with my daughter. I have had the extra complication that she is adopted from Russia. We do not have any family history or genetic information. Also, children who have spent time in orphanages do not come out unscathed. How much of what we were seeing would resolve over time? How much was genetics? How much was institutionalized affects?

I have been forced to research many topics, because my daughter has never fit neatly into one box. Her behaviors have been confusing to many top doctors and I have explored many options. Although I was no longer consulting, I was still using my research skills to identify the problems, analyze my options, and constantly refine my solutions.

Through this process I have talked with many parents in similar situations. I found that many of them did not even know where to begin the process of finding help. Yes, there is a lot of available information. But there is almost too much! I soon began to see that there was a hole to fill. Parents needed something to help them help their children. They needed not only information, but they also needed a process or steps to walk them through how to find and use the information. Thus, the S-O-S Rescue Series was born.

Description of S-O-S Rescue Series Guides

I use to buy book after book looking for information for my daughter. In the end, I often used only one chapter from a given book. The S-O-S Rescue Series guides are organized so that you only buy what you need now. First, each series is on one topic, for example, ADHD, social skills, or anxiety. Second, each series contains three guides that correspond to how I tackle issues for my daughter.

Stage 1 is identifying the problem.
Stage 2 is analyzing the options.
Stage 3 is refining your solutions.

The S-O-S Rescue Series are unique and there isn’t anything quite like them. They offer parents a lot of options and guidance. The series:

Ensures Your Child Receives the Best. The S-O-S Rescue Series are objective and do not promote any one treatment option. Again, I am not promoting myself as an expert on each topic; just an expert on getting you the information you need. You know your child the best. Many options are presented so that you make a decision on what will work best for your child.

Helps You be in Charge: The guides help you build a team of professionals, but you learn to be the manager of this team. You examine your options. If you do not see your child benefiting from a particular treatment or service, change it.

Helps You Make the Right Decisions: There are many available treatments and services. You choose what your child needs based on having the right information. Correct decisions are important because they can improve your child’s life in areas such as home, school, sports, friends, and church.

Saves You Time: I have spent years researching and organizing information. Can you do what I’ve done? Perhaps. But do you have eight to ten hours a day, weeks on end to devote to this one task? Use my years of hard work to your advantage. Don’t reinvent the wheel. When it comes to your child, you don’t want to waste time.

Saves You Money: The guides help you educate yourself. The more you learn, the quicker you decide what is best for your child. You won’t waste money on things your child does not need.

You can purchase only one stage at a time or the series at a discount. For the price of a movie or lunch, you will find a large amount of information to help you with your problem-solving process. The guides are set-up so that you can turn them into a working document and track what you have completed.

If you have additional questions, I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or email me at info@sos-research.com.

Categories Adoption, School, Treatment
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