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My daughter who is now 13, returned to school this week. She is in the middle of the dreaded middle school experience, 7th grade. My son is now a sophomore in high school, so I know she will survive and be able to move on to bigger and better things. The big question though…will I?
Middle school has always been known to be tough for kids. You’re past the easy, more carefree days of elementary school, but you don’t yet have the maturity to jump into high school. Middle school lumps those middle years, 6th, 7th, and 8th grades all together. One big mess for three years.
As difficult as middle school may be for kids, it can be equally difficult for parents. You have a child with new found freedoms, but still the brain development of a squirrel on caffeine. That’s probably not a good comparison, but you get the picture. Yes, my son’s middle school years were very difficult…for me.
Middle school is a transitional time for kids. There’s lots of excitement surrounding the changes. For my son, the thrill included being able to access the vending machines at will, having a locker all his own, carrying a cell phone, and moving from classroom to classroom. Does life get any better than this?
First, my son did not receive an endless pile of coins to transfer into the vending machines, so why was he so excited? Well, in 6th grade he used his leftover-from-elementary-school “little boy charm” to beg money from the high schoolers. He quickly learned that most people will hand over a dime, but not a quarter or more. So he would set his sight on ten people and quickly collect a dollar. Voila! Vending machine here I come!
And the locker…oh my, where do I start? It was just so cool to have one, but why, I don’t know. In middle school it was basically used to house moldy sandwiches, homework that was never turned in, smelly clothes that never found their way home, and an endless amount of recyclable paper. I call it recyclable paper because by the time I saw it, whatever it was announcing, requesting, or verifying was way past the due date.
Oh, and the cell phone! How such a small item can carry such status. It didn’t matter that every time I called my son he was unavailable. It didn’t matter that I tried to contact him to let him know that I had been sitting in the pick-up line for 30 minutes. No, this was not the true purpose of the phone. The true purpose was to just be able to pull it out, hold it, and enjoy that you had this new technology in middle school.
Wait, I almost forgot. The cell phone did have one other purpose–to see if it could bounce. Yes, you read me right–bounce. My middle school son and his friends were curious to see if the phone could bounce. I am happy to inform other parents that not only can a cell phone bounce, but it can bounce all the way down a huge hill and be lost for all eternity. I am also happy to announce that the middle school cell phone idea was ridiculous and was not revisited until high school.
So this now leaves me with the topic of moving from classroom to classroom. It’s not so much the moving from classroom to classroom that is enjoyed so much, but rather the opportunity to get outside of the classroom to see friends. It became a common occurrence to be marked tardy for class during the middle school years. To get from one classroom to the next was almost impossible when he had to swim through a pool of friends. There was always someone calling his name and that someone was always more interesting than the teacher who was about to start class.
I really questioned during those middle school years what was wrong with my child. Now that he is a sophomore in high school, I finally have my answer. A big, fat NOTHING! He was only 11, 12 and 13 years old and life was incredibly fun. He could not think beyond the here and now and could see no benefit in wasting time on things as mundane as school work.
How far he has come in just two years! At 15 he has taken on school with a new fervor. He is so serious and determined that I have asked him “Where is my son and what have you done with him?”
As I have been reminiscing I realize I have broken out into a sweat. Just the thought of what my daughter could put me through makes me want to curl up in a small ball and hibernate for the next two years. But instead, I am going to remain optimistic and confident that she too will make it to high school. So back to my original question. Is there hope for middle schoolers? You bet there is and it’s called high school!
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Smiling as I bow to your wisdom!
Ours are in college and the senior year. Yes, they do mature – that is the hope to hold on to. I was also helped (some) by recalling myself at the same age. The most emotional help (to me) was to imagine each child as actually younger than they were. Meaning, she is really 9 – so as not to expect her to behave as if she is 14. That’s a mind-game, for sure, but it worked for my Hubby and me.
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Danette Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 8:06 am
Barbara, thanks for your insight! As all parents know, you wishfully can’t wait for each stage to end and then you longingly look back and what is no more.
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[...] daughter is in the 7th grade and just completed her first week of school. The school has been kind enough to not assign any [...]
Some great thoughts here. My kids are adults now, and the good news is that they survived this difficult stage pretty well.
=)
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Visiting from Blog Gems.
OH! You’re making me break out in a sweat. My oldest is just moving into 6th grade soon. AHHHH!!!
Well, wish me luck.
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I am a middle school teacher, so I really enjoyed reading this. You’re spot on about everything!
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Danette Reply:
March 28th, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Ohhh, you are a saint! Tough, tough age to teach! Thank you for everything you do for these children!!
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